MIX TAPE: Soundtrack to My Life

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Album Collection

  1. .Details in Fabric (Jason Mraz)
  2. Hard way home(Brandi Carlile)
  3. So much to say (Dave Mathews)
  4. So small (Carrie Underwood)
  5. In the Mirror (Yanni)
  6. Come alive (Janelle Monae)
  7. Little wonders (Rob Thomas)
  8. Arroz con Pollo (Maxwell)
  9. Crazy Dreams (Carrie Underwood)
  10. My way (Los Lonely Boys)
  11. This Year(Meghan Tonjes)

Audience of One

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Sunny lake

Sunny lake (Photo credit: stevec77)

Today was a gorgeous day, it was cool enough for long sleeves but the sun made a definite appearance. I took a long brisk walk. The heat of the sun was like a loving embrace from the universe. These walks nurture my spirit. I always finish my walks feeling renewed, empowered to overcome daily challenges with a new sense of confidence.

It would have been nice to take a long walk with you, even if it was just one time. I wonder what we would talk about. On my walks I encounter a small cat colony. If you make it out here before 7 am you may run into a frail yet enthusiastic lady that comes out to feed all the lake animals ( geese and other lake birds). The cats seem to recognize her as an old friend and walk up to her and even let her pet them. I like to think that you were probably a cat person, I am.

I would give anything for a moment with you that I could remember, something to cherish. Although I have no recollection of you, I feel an overwhelming connection to you on days like today.

Wherever you are, I hope I made you proud.

With a yearning heart,
Your daughter

No Regrets!

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It’s funny how fast time flies and we don’t realize it until we are sifting through old pictures or just looking for good music and realize our music is no longer “in” I can remember laying in my bed, (I was about 12-13 years old) staring at the ceiling and just thinking about time and how I would get older and I wanted to remember myself at that specific moment in time. I wanted to remember the ceiling just at it was, every insignificant speck of that terrible popcorn ceiling…weird. Then I grew up and time just seems to slip away; especially those special moments with my son. Soon he will be the same age I was when I was staring at my ceiling. The other day I mentioned something that happened before he was born. He gave me this funny look. He got a little quiet and I asked him what was wrong and he just couldn’t comprehend the thought of me being here without him or him being here without me. He became overcome with emotion. My heart broke because I just wanted to take away that feeling but I was unprepared for this conversation. I explained that he will be much more prepared when that time comes  because he will have  had life experience and that for now we just have to appreciate each day so there are no regrets. Talk about forcing me to face a subject I would naturally avoid! My own personal life coach…my son.

Bubbles!!!

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Why am I here? This is a question that I think we all ask ourselves at one time or another. When I was younger I used to think there was a hidden camera following me and that one day all bad things would come to light. I went through some hard times and always figured everything would be rectified because surely someone (god) would go through the play-by-play and it would just be awesome! No worries right?

As I got older I realized that wrongs are not always made right. Life is not a movie where the ending is always just right. So what is life? Why are we here? I have come to think of life as a perfect gift because it is not a thing. This gift didn’t cost millions of dollars. You can’t put is on display like a status symbol. It isn’t the most expensive thing you put in your closet. It is what is happening RIGHT NOW. The past is just a memory, thoughts flying around in your head that you will never actually relive. The future may never be. Life is what you are experiencing at THIS VERY MOMENT. The minute I came to this realization, I decided that I wanted to “BE IN THE MOMENT!” mentally. This reminds me of the yellow fish (Bubbles) in Finding Nemo, holding on to his bubbles. Life’s moments, like bubbles, are fleeting. You can try to hold on to them but you can’t. I definitely don’t want to hang on to negative memories. My life’s goal is to appreciate living and breathing and taking part in wonderful new memories. I know this may sound a bit grandiose especially since life is not all beautiful. But even through the hard times there are discoveries about us, our loved ones and just  living that are worth remembering. I hope to live a life that is worth remembering, because in the end don’t we all want to feel like we have left some sort of positive, meaningful mark on the world we leave behind?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Family

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This weeks challenge was fun because I finally got a chance to sit down and organize my family photo album. I found so many old memories and it was pretty hard to select just a few.

 In this first image we have my son with our two mini-dachshunds. The day I brought these brothers home, my son was crazy for them. His exact words, “This’ll be a day we’re never going to forget!” He quickly bonded with Reece’s, the chocolate one and has been completely responsible for him since day one.  These doxies are going on 3 years and silly as ever.  Reece’s loves to play “sniff/fetch” . This is where we hide a toy and watch him literally go into non-stop SNIFFer Mode until he finds it. And he always does! Chikko is the little dappled one. He was the runt of the litter and is a good 2 lbs smaller than Reece’s. Because he is so small combined with the dachshund physique (short & stout with an almost regal, protruding chest), He trots about aloof except with a goofy grin. He gets all the attention when we travel because of his unique markings. Reece’s is just fine with that. Reece’s is only concerned with my son. They truly are a joy and have taught us so much about life.

Why I want to be more like my dog:

  • They wake up every morning with an abundant zest for what the day will bring, That is LIVING!
  • There is practically nothing we could do that would stop them from loving us, that is unconditional love in its simplest form. Who said love had to be complicated anyway!
  • There is not a day that goes by that they do not put a smile on our face. They remind me daily to attempt to put a smile on someones face.

I took the next photo at a local water reservoir we like to call a “lake” (Lake Hefner. ) The reservoir is surrounded by walking and cycling trails, a golf course and eateries, along with scenic vistas. My son loves to peer through the telescope to see what’s going on the other side of the lake. I picked this as one of the pictures for this challenge because one of my dearest friends is standing with him and enjoying his excitement. Isn’t that one of the main things families do for us? They are present to bear witness and take part in our journey. The events we experience in life are not worth experiencing alone. That is why we are blessed with family.

This brings me to my last image which is bittersweet. In making this photo I managed to break a very special hand mold that my son made when he was six years old. It truly broke my heart to see it shatter because of my butter fingers, agh!  This is an image of some of the items my son has made for me in the recent years. My personal favorites are the clay rose he gave me for mother’s day and the mobile made of popsicle sticks and a hanger.  Only family would see the true value in these items. Family looks beyond your limitations and sees your potential. Family embraces your ideas and realizes their worth. Family cherishes your every  achievement, no matter how mundane. Cheers!